


Come Home

by zarrati



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Civil War AU, F/M, Love Letters, Wartime AU, impersonating a soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:03:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: Ben Wyatt is a Union Soldier off to fight in the Civil War. Before he leaves, he confesses his love for Leslie Knope, the mayor’s daughter, wanting to reveal his secret before he possibly dies. Leslie, heartbroken, writes letters to Ben daily, wishing nothing more than for him to come home and court her properly. When Ben’s letters stop coming, Leslie fears the worst and takes matters into her own hands: running away and impersonating a soldier to find what happened to her lost love.





	1. Goodbyes and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> So this was all started because of a Fic Title prompt that spiraled into an actual fic... I only have a vague idea of where this is going, so bear with me since updates might not be AS consistent. Also, since this is set in the 1860's, I tried not to use too modern language and kind of made them talk like I remember people talking in civil war movies... so, there's that. Also, not 100% sure what age I want them to be, but they are definitely younger than in the show. Early twenties maybe?  
> ANYWAY, thanks so much for all of the support I got just based on the summary. Please let me know your thoughts!

Ben Wyatt pulls his coat tighter around his body, but it does little to combat the chill in the air. The dirt and gravel crunch beneath his worn boots as he walks, the only other sound being the raucous from the tavern on the other end of Main St.

With the war going on, he doesn’t fault the other young men having one more night of drinking before they leave home, possibly forever.

But not him. No, he has something much more important to do. Something he wishes he had the courage to do long before the war.

The thing is, it would have been stupid then, and it’s probably stupid now, too. Especially if he gets caught. Sneaking around the Mayor’s property like some kind of miscreant is dangerous and won’t help his reputation by any means.

Then again, what will a reputation mean to him when he’s dead?

Ben walks around the back of the large house, peering up at what he knows to be Leslie’s window. He smiles softly to himself when he sees the soft glow from her lantern. Of course she’s still awake, even at this time of night. 

He stands there for a few moments, frozen in fear. She’s so close, and yet she might as well be miles away. 

That’s how he always felt about her, even back when his family first moved here. The journey from Minnesota was long and harsh, but when they arrived in Pawnee, Leslie was one of the first to greet them. As the Mayor’s daughter, she took it upon herself to be the welcoming committee, and when Ben’s father wanted to open up the store, it was Leslie that helped get them the right paperwork.

Since that very first day, he has been enamoured with her. She isn’t anything like what one might expect from the daughter of a high ranking politician. She never likes being catered to, preferring to do everything she can for herself. She treats the hired help more like family than servants, doing daily chores that he’s seen other members of the upper class scoff at. 

Like coming to his father’s store herself to do the shopping.

Ben hardly ever manned the storefront. No, that was more for his father or brother, Henry. He stayed behind the scenes, taking inventory and keeping the books. Numbers, those are his passion. 

He always wondered what it would be like if he could have gone to college, but that’s a fool’s dream. He is the lowly son of a meager shop keeper. He isn’t good enough for college.

Or for someone like Leslie.

But that didn’t stop him from admiring her, nor did it stop any other man in the town, apparently.

It’s no secret that Leslie has had her fair share of suitors, and the only reason she hasn’t been married off yet is because of her parents. Like her, the Mayor and his wife are far more progressive than most of their peers. Leslie isn’t going to be used as a bargaining chip to marry off to another wealthy family. No, she plans on making her own choices about who she marries. 

But it could still never be to someone like him.

Once again, however, that doesn’t stop him from walking to the other side of town in the middle of the night and standing outside of her window. Nothing else really matters when he could be dead by the month’s end. 

Ben reaches into his pocket and pulls out the pile of small pebbles he collected on his walk over, tossing the first one at her window.

It hits the glass with a low *clack*, but after a few moments, Leslie doesn’t seem to notice. He tosses a few more pebbles, and just when he is about to turn and walk away in resignation, he sees a shadow move slowly towards the window.

Goodness, she’s like an angel. She’s wearing a long, white nightgown, her hair down and brushed out. The dim light from the lantern behind her makes her look like she’s glowing. 

Her brows are furrowed as she stares out of the window until she looks down and sees him. Looking back over her shoulder, she bites her lip before slowly opening it. 

“Ben?” she says in a whisper he can barely hear. “Ben, is that you? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

He gapes like a fish out of water for a few moments before taking off his hat and wringing it in his hands. 

“I know it’s very late and this is highly inappropriate, but I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

There are about a thousand reasons why she should say no. Why she should ignore the strange man standing outside of her house beckoning her out in the middle of the night.

And he wouldn’t blame her one bit.

“Are you drunk?” she asks, but Ben shakes his head. 

“No, ma’am. Stone cold sober.”

He sees the indecision in her eyes even in the near darkness.

“Alright,” she finally says, and Ben’s heart almost shoots out like a cannonball from his chest. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Those few minutes feel like hours, and when she does walk to the back of the house, an oil lantern in hand, he almost forgets how his tongue works.

She put on a thick coat and shoes, but the white fringe of her nightgown is still visible just at the hem. 

“Now,” she says to him, “what was it that was so important that you couldn’t wait until morning? If anyone were to catch us, rumors will start flying, you know.”

It’s a serious warning, but there’s still a hint of humor in her eye. 

“Yes, I know. And I do apologize, but I don’t think it can wait. See, I won’t be here in the morning.”

Leslie’s face falls. “What do you mean?”

“I leave for the State Capital at dawn. I’m, uhm, I’m joining the Union Army.”

Leslie lets out a muffled cry, and truth be told, Ben never once thought he’d see the day that Leslie Knope would care enough about him to get choked up at his leaving. 

“It’s the right thing to do. Someone from my family should join the cause. My father’s too old, and he needs Henry to help run the store. That leaves me.”

“No, they need you, too.”

Ben smiles sadly. “Sometimes I wonder if anyone really needs me. This is my chance to do something good. To reunify my country and help free the slaves.”

Ben knows Leslie understands. She’s been very vocal about her views on slavery, doing everything she can to help the cause from here. He’d be lying if he said that earning her respect didn’t also play a little bit into his choice.

“Ben, I don’t know what to say--”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just--I just wanted to tell you in person.” He takes a deep breath. “And I know this is very inappropriate and untimely, but I guess I didn’t see there being a better time, either. I might not make it back--”

“No, don’t say that.”

“It’s true. This might be the last night I stay in Pawnee, and I just wanted to...say thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For always being so nice to me and my family. You welcomed us into town when not a whole lot of other people were as welcoming. For helping us.” He smiles to himself. “Truth be told, the best parts of my day where when you’d come into the store and I’d get to see you. Even when I was tucked away in the back, you always made a point to come say hello to me. To make feel important and not invisible.

“And I know that I’m well below you and have no business feeling this way, but, well, I have had...feelings for you for quite some time now. I know it isn’t fair that I come here on the night before I leave and say this, and I don’t expect anything back from you. I just-- I guess I just wanted to let you know. One less regret in case I don’t come back home.”

The hand holding the lantern was shaking, and the other had slowly come up to cover her mouth during his confession. 

“You...you have feelings for me?”

Ben rubs the back of his neck. “Yes. I’d have started courting you a long time ago if I thought I would have had the chance. But I didn’t come here looking for anything. I just...I just wanted you to know, I guess.”

Leslie whimpers again, but it soon turns into a choked sob. 

“I’m sorry,” Ben says, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, I’ll go right now. I--”

“Benjamin Wyatt, you idiot. How dare you come to my house in the middle of the night and say this to me. How  _ dare _ you tell me this and then just leave.”

Ben opens his mouth to apologize again, but before he can, Leslie sets the lantern on the ground and rushes into his arms.

Lord Almighty, he’s holding Leslie Knope.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Leslie asks through her tears. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so, so long. I love you, too, and I’m so angry that you waited until  _ now _ to tell me.”

She tucks her face into his neck, and Ben has to struggle to remain standing. Leslie Knope just said that she loved him.

Now he feels like the biggest fool for a whole other reason. If he had just plucked up the courage ages ago, he could have had this.

“You l-love me?”

He almost can’t believe it. 

He feels her nod against him. “I do. I would visit your store on days when I didn’t even need anything just to see you. There was always something about you, Ben Wyatt. I just couldn’t stay away. Your kind eyes, your gentle smile, your... _ goodness _ . You are so, so good, Ben.”

He chances to hold her tighter, and thankfully, she doesn’t protest or try to pull away. She just holds him tighter in turn like she’s trying to fuse herself to him. 

She pulls back eventually, her eyes red. “Now you have to come back,” she says. “Go win this war and come back to court me the right way.”

“I will. You...you’re what I’m fighting for, now. You’re what I have to come home to. I’ll come back, court you, and make you my wife someday, Leslie Knope.”

He’s surprised by his own boldness, but he feels drunk. This isn’t like from the moonshine Mr. Swanson sells. It’s so unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He’s drunk on Leslie, and it gives him a power he never thought was possible. 

But instead of being offended, Leslie throws back her head and laughs. It’s her usual cackle that Ben finds adorable and endearing. 

“I’ll hold you to that,  _ Mr _ . Wyatt.” But soon the smile is off of her face, and she runs her hand down the front of his chest. “Please be safe. And write to me. Write to me how I can reach you. I’ll write to you every day.”

“As soon as I get to Indianapolis, I’ll send word. I will write to you as often as I can. Just know that there won’t be a single second that you won’t be on my mind.”

“And I’ll do everything that I can to help end this war and bring you home. I swear it.”

Her face is so close, all he can think about is kissing her, knowing what her lips feel like before he might die.

“I would like to kiss you,” he says to her, and said lips curve into a demure smile. 

“Would you, now?”

His tongue slips out to moisten his lips, and he swears her eyes are burning. “Yes, I would.”

But it’s not him that closes the gap. It’s Leslie, because of  _ course _ she would be the one to initiate their first kiss.  _ That’s _ why he loves her.

Her lips are softer and taste sweeter than he ever imagined even in his wildest dreams.

His hands grasp the side of her face, fingers tangling in her hair. She follows suit, deepening the kiss as her own fingers pull at his hair and neck.

This,  _ this _ is what he has to live for. He can’t die now after only just this little taste. He needs to know what it feels like to kiss her openly and freely, to make love to her.

They break apart when the noise from the tavern grows closer, a horde of drunken young men now stumbling in their direction.

“I should go before someone notices you’re gone,” he whispers.

“If I was a little more selfish, I’d tell you not to go.”

“If I was a little more selfish, I’d stay.”

He kisses her again, ingraining the taste of her lips into his memory, her sweetness now mixed with the salt of her tears. 

“I love you, Leslie Knope,” he breathes against her lips, their noses brushing. “I love you and I’m coming back to you.”

“I’ll wait for you. I don’t care how long it takes, but I will wait for you. Forever.”

Ben prays to God that it won’t be that long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie deals with the aftermath of Ben leaving, and Ben signs up for the Union Army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the amazing feedback!

When the news comes the following morning of the men that left to join the Union Army, Leslie is still in bed. She’s not sleeping. No, she might never sleep again until Ben is back safe and sound. 

She has cried all of the tears that she can, and now stares blankly up at the ceiling. 

She’s never been heartsick before. She knows of others in the town that have already lost loved ones to this war. Heard about how some of the wives couldn’t bear to leave their houses for days.

Leslie didn’t quite understand it until now. Now she knows what it’s like to love someone,  _ really _ love someone, and having him taken away from her is a pain she hasn’t experienced before. 

When she doesn’t come down for breakfast, there’s a knock on her door.

“Leslie?” Ann’s beautiful and melodious voice calls out. “Leslie, are you alright?”

“Come in,” she manages to croak out, still huddled on her bed.

Ann is one of her family’s maids, and also happens to be Leslie’s best friend. The tan-skinned beauty came to Pawnee looking for work a few years ago, shunned by many as the half-white daughter of a free man. 

Slavery wasn’t okay with many Northerners, but apparently neither was a freed black man marrying and having children with a white woman. 

But the Knopes hired her without hesitation, and she and Leslie quickly grew thick as thieves. 

“Leslie, what are you still doing in bed?” Ann asks, rushing over to feel her forehead. “Are you sick? Oh my, have you been crying?”

Ann sits at the edge of Leslie’s bed, opening her arms wide when Leslie rolls over for a hug. 

“Oh, Ann, it’s terrible. Ben came to see me last night.”

“Ben Wyatt? The shop owner’s son?”

Leslie nods. “Yes. He came to tell me that he loves me.”

“What?! Leslie, I thought that would be good news. I know how you feel about him.”

“That’s not all. He came to tell me that because he left this morning for the Capital. He’s joining the Union. He said,” she chokes back another sob, “he said that he wanted to tell me he loved me just once in case he doesn’t come home alive.”

Ann strokes Leslie’s head on her lap. “Oh, Leslie, I’m so sorry.”

“What if he doesn’t come home, Ann? I can’t lose him. I can’t lose the man that I love before we ever even had the chance to truly be together.”

“I know. And I know it’s scary, but I have faith. I have faith in the Union and in Ben. He’s going to do his best to fight and come home to you. I just know it.”

“I hope you’re right,” Leslie sniffs.

“I know I am. And we can still do our part here. There’s talk that your father might set up a refuge for Union Soldiers in town. He said that with some of my knowledge, I can help with the nursing.”

Leslie turns to look up at her best friend. “Oh, Ann, you’d be the greatest, most beautiful nurse there ever was.”

“And you’ve been writing letters and organizing ways to raise money for the Union. That’s how we can help all of our soldiers come back home. Ben wouldn’t want you to sit here and wait for him while doing nothing would he?”

Leslie sits up and wipes at her eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I know you’re right. I’ve just never felt this kind of heartache before.”

“I understand. And you know that I will be here with you every step of the way. So, how about we get you ready and have some breakfast?”

At that, her stomach rumbles. Professing your love to someone and then crying most of the night takes a lot out of a person.

“I think that’s an excellent idea.”

Ann pats Leslie’s leg and stands. “Alright. Let’s get you ready to start the day.”

When she comes downstairs with Ann later that morning, her parents are still seated around the table. 

While she has made it appoint to not let her sadness and pity take over, there is still no denying that she spent the better part of the night in tears. Her eyes are still red, the skin around them puffy. 

“Leslie, my dear,” her father says looking up from his paper. “Are you alright. You’re not sick, are you?”

She shakes her head as she sits. “No, I’m not sick. I received some news last night that upset me.”

“What is it, dear?” her mother asks, reaching out to take her hand. 

“I found out that one of the young men leaving to join the Union is Benjamin Wyatt, the shop owner’s son.”

“Oh, my,” her mother said. “The shy, scrawny one?”

“He’s not scrawny,” Leslie says in an outburst, and quickly shrinks back when both of her parents give her a bewildered look. “He’s not,” she says again in a softer voice. “He’s very kind and brave.”

“And how is it that you know that he left? I heard that most of the men left at dawn this morning.”

Leslie bites her lip and picks at the food on the plate in front of her. “He...he came to see me last night.”

“Well, that’s highly inappropriate.”

“Nothing happened. Well, not  _ nothing _ . But nothing that should make you worry about my ‘reputation’,” she bites back with more than a hint of snark. “He came to tell me he was leaving, and that… that he had feelings for me.” Her parents’ eyes grow wide. “He said he had feelings for me and he wanted to tell me before he left. I told him that I returned his affections. When the war is over, he’s going to come back to me and we’ll start courting.” Leslie lifts her head up almost defiantly. “I plan on marrying him someday.”

Her parents are stunned silent, which she can’t blame them for. While she’s had suitors before, she never once claimed so boldly that she was going to marry them.

But Ben… Ben is different. 

“Darling,” her father says slowly, “Just because a young man has affections for you and goes off to war doesn’t mean--”

“No, this has nothing to do with that. I’ve had...feelings for Benjamin for quite some time. I just never knew until last night that he returned those affections. This is what I want.”

“Sweetheart, your father and I just want what’s best for you,” her mother says. “There is a chance that he might not...survive. And if he does, what kind of life can he provide for you once he comes back? The store will most likely go to the elder Wyatt son when Steven passes and--”

“Stop,” Leslie’s says, slamming her hands on the table. “I-I don’t care. Ben  _ will _ come back to me. I know it in my heart. And I don’t care about anything else. Whatever life Ben can provide for us is the life that I want. He’s motivated and smart. So, so smart. Did you know that he does all of the bookkeeping for the store? Henry and Mr. Wyatt might be the ones you see everyday, but Ben does all of the hard work. He knows numbers better than anyone I have ever met. Better than that incompetent treasurer the city has--”

“Leslie, that’s enough,” her father interrupts, and her mouth snaps shut. But her lips are pursed, and there’s her usual scowl in her eyes.

“You said that you would let me marry for love,” she says. “That’s what you said. You said you wouldn’t force me to marry some man twice my age just to grow our connections. I don’t care that Ben’s family isn’t rich. I don’t care if we have to move to some tiny house on the other side of town. All I want is for him to come back to me.”

She thought she was through crying, but her emotions have other ideas. She blinks back tears and wipes at her eyes. Her mother’s face softens, and she stands to pull Leslie into an embrace. 

“Oh, Leslie, I’m sorry. I know this must be hard for you. As long as he is a good man and loves you, that’s all that we ask.”

“He his,” she sniffles. “He’s the best. I’m just so scared for him, Mom.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

Leslie looks over at her father, his face softer than before, but still undecided. “Daddy, please,” she begs, and even to her ears, her voice sounds so...broken.

“I just want what’s best for you. And I don’t want to see you get hurt. If he doesn’t make it back--”

“Stop saying that,” Leslie fires back. “He will. I know he will. And I’m going to do everything that I can to make sure that the Union has everything it needs to win. I’m going to write letters and articles about why we should support the Union. I’ll organize fundraisers. If the South can have these huge balls to raise money for their people, so can we. I want to help you set up that refuge in town. I want Ann to help and be the best nurse there ever was. I’m going to help them. Not only Ben, but all of the soldiers.”

She stares at her father, the two locked in a silent battle until his eyes flick away and a small smile forms on his lips. “Of course you do. And if that’s what you want to do, that’s what will happen.”

“Really?”

“Of course, darling. I want our boys to come home safe and sound, too. How about you come with me to City Hall and help me organize some events.”

Leslie leaps out of her chair and runs to her father. “Oh, Daddy, thank you so much.”

He laughs and pats at her back. “Of course. We can use all the help we can. It just so happens that my daughter is one of the brightest people that I know.”

Leslie pulls back and wipes at her tears--happy ones this time. “I have so many ideas. I’m gonna go upstairs and start writing them all down.”

She kisses her father’s cheek and zooms out of the room.

She has a lot of work to do.

~~~~~

The trip to the State Capital is tireless and takes several days. Ben couldn’t afford a horse, so he makes the journey on foot. Several men from Pawnee pass him on their way, but he stays alone, his head down and feet fast. 

He arrives at Indianapolis tired, thirsty, and hungry, and makes a beeline for the Capitol to sign up.

He doesn’t expect the line to be as long as it is, but at the same time, it fills him with a sense of pride. These are all men that want to serve their country, just like him.

He waits for hours, and when he’s finally at the front of the line, a man in uniform beckons him forward. 

“Name,” the man asks gruffly. 

“Benjamin Wyatt.”

“Place of residence.”

“Uh, Pawnee, Indiana, sir.”

The man scribbles it down on a sheet of paper, and then looks up at him. “Pawnee, huh? There was a whole slew o’ you that came in. Started forming their own company. You’ll be assigned to them. That company and a few others have already been assigned to a regiment.” 

Ben only nods. 

“Son, are you ready and willing to fight for your country?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, alright then. You’ll be sent over to where your regiment is camped. Food and water will be provided for you by the United States Army as well as your uniform, and in two days training begins.”

“Thank you, sir. Uhm, if I wanted to send a letter--”

The man smirks, but it’s not unkind. Ben’s sure he’s not the only one to ask that. 

“Got a sweetheart back home, huh? Your Colonel will handle all of that.” 

He waves Ben off and motions for the next person in line.

Ben pushes through the crowd, looking for any familiar faces that will point him in the direction he’s supposed to go.

“Ben! Ben!”

Ben hears his name and looks around. 

“Ben, over here,” the excited voice calls again, and he turns to find none other than Andy Dwyer waving wildly from a few years away. 

“Andy?”

“That’s me. It’s so crazy to see you. I didn’t know you were signing up, too.”

“I am. It’s great to see a familiar face.”

“Sure is. Come on, the rest of us are over here. They have food and water for all of the new recruits. Then just before sundown, we’ll all be sent to the camps on the outskirts of the city.”

Ben doesn’t know Andy all that well, to be honest. He worked odd jobs around the town, and often performed music a few nights at the tavern. Andy knows Leslie, though. Last he heard, Andy was courting April, one of Leslie’s more...interesting friends.

Honestly, it’s a miracle the girl hasn’t been tried as a witch given how often she, well, claims to be a witch.

Andy leads Ben over to a table where someone hands out bowls of stew and a chunk of stale bread. That doesn’t matter to Ben, though. Days of traveling and saving his rations makes him grateful for anything.

As Ben eats, he looks around and sees familiar faces that used to come in and out of the store. He hadn’t realized how many people from Pawnee came to volunteer.

“So how long have you been here?” Ben asks between a mouthful of food.

“I got here yesterday, so not long. Signed up and just waiting for training now. I’m excited. I can’t wait to start fighting them Grey Backs. It isn’t right what they’re doing.”

“Here here,” Ben says, raising his tin cup of water in the air. 

“I do miss April, though,” Andy sighs. “It’ll be hard not knowing when I might see her again.”

Ben understands all too well and claps Andy on the back. “You’ll get back to her. Go home and marry her.”

Andy smiles and lowers his head like he’s about to tell a secret. “Between you and me, April and I eloped the other day. Found a preacher who did it for us. Said he was doing a lot of weddings now that the men are joining the army. Those were the greatest days of my life.”

Ben smiles at the young man’s overwhelming joy, but he also feels a stab to his heart. He could have had that with Leslie if he hadn’t waited so long.

No. There’s no use in worrying about the past. He needs to focus on his future. His future with Leslie.

“What about you?” Andy asks. “You got a sweetheart back home?”

Ben feels the grin split his face without warning. “I do. I just wish we had more time. I only worked up the courage to tell her how I felt the night before I left, but turns out she loves me, too. When I make it home, I’m gonna court her properly.”

“Bully for you, Ben. Who is she? Would I know her?”

“Uh, you do actually. It’s Leslie. Leslie Knope.”

Andy’s eyes go wide at first, but soon his smile rivals Ben. “That’s wonderful,” he says, slapping Ben hard on the back. “Leslie, wow, she’s just about one of the greatest people there ever was. She helped get me and April together, you know. You got yourself a mighty fine girl there, Ben. Take good care of her.”

“I plan to.” He looks over at Andy. “You don’t think it’s odd, do you? I mean, the mayor’s daughter with someone like me. People might talk.”

“People will always talk,” Andy says with a wave of his hand. “That’s just what people do. I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with two people being together that love each other. As long as you treat her right, that’s all that matters.”

“Oh, I aim to. It’s just gonna be so hard to be away from her for so long. But you understand that. I’m sure a lot of the men do.”

“True, but that just means we gotta hurry up and win this war so we can go home, right Ben?”

Ben laughs. “Right. So, speaking of home, do you know how I might get a letter back home? I brought my own paper and everything. I just want to know how Leslie can write back if she wants to.”

Andy nods. “Sure do. I already sent one to April yesterday. The post is pretty good. There’s a main collection spot at the camp, and then someone from the postal service takes it. I hear that they usually are good about telling us where we’re going unless it's top secret. That way we can let our loved ones know where to write.” Andy pointed to a man on the other side of the mess area in uniform. “That’s Colonel Trumple. He’s leading our regiment. He’ll be able to tell you where you can tell Leslie to write.”

Ben nods. “Thank you, Andy. I appreciate it.” Ben stands and pulls his satchel over his shoulder. “I’m going to go find a place to sit and write, but I’ll come find you later, okay?”

“Tell Leslie I send my regards.”   

Ben weaves through the crowd again until he finds a secluded spot beneath a tree. He pulls out the paper and pen from his bag and starts to write.

~~~~~

Leslie walks with her basket down Main Street, nodding politely to the faces that pass her, oblivious to the pain she has in her heart.

But there’s one face that Leslie doesn’t let walk by. 

“April? April, how are you? I heard about Andy.”

The girl does her best to keep her usual face of cold indifference, but Leslie still sees the pain in her eyes.

“I’m fine. Andy’s doing what he feels he has to do. I’m proud of him.”

Leslie touches April’s arm, and she surprisingly doesn’t pull away. “We’re all proud of him. And I know he’ll be home soon enough. Then maybe we can plan that wedding of yours.”

“That won’t be necessary. We, uhm, we already got married. Before he left. We didn’t want to make an ordeal out of it so no one else was there.”

“Oh April!” Leslie’s eyes water and she embraces the girl despite her protests. “I’m so happy for you! We have to plan a celebration instead when he comes back.”

Leslie can tell April wants to protest, but she knows better than to argue with Leslie when it comes to planning a party.

Good girl.

“If you want to. I’m just waiting for my letter to come. He said he’d write as often as he could.”

“That’s wonderful. So did--”

She was about to say Ben, but she stops herself. That wasn’t necessarily a secret to tell right now.

Unfortunately for Leslie, April is more perceptive than she looks.

“So did who?”

“No one. Just… no one. No one you know. It’s nothing.”

“You’re acting stranger than normal, so it has to be something. Tell me.”

Leslie taps her foot and sighs. “It’s just...no one knows about us and it doesn’t seem like a good time to make it public. You have to swear not to tell anyone.”

“I swear.”

Leslie bites her lip and smiles. “The night before all of the soldiers left, Ben Wyatt came to my house. He threw pebbles and my window and then confessed that he loved me. It was so romantic. He says that when he comes back, he’s going to court me. He told me he’d write as soon as he could.”

“Well, that sounds terrible. And of course I won’t tell anyone because it’s a stupid secret. He’s odd.”

“Oh, April,” Leslie laughs. “Well, I have to run to the general store, but I will see you later, alright? And if you ever need anything while Andy’s away or just want to have someone to talk to, I’m here.”

April nods slowly then continues down the road.

Leslie walks to the end of the block and takes a deep breath just outside of the store--Ben’s store. It’s been a few days since Ben left, and she hasn’t worked up the courage to see the rest of his family yet.

She walks in to find Henry leaning against the counter lost in thought, but Mr. Wyatt is nowhere to be seen.

She walks up behind him and clears her throat.

“Oh, sorry about that Miss. Knope. Didn’t see you come in.”

“How many times have I told you to call me Leslie.”

“Sorry about that,  _ Leslie _ . Things have been...hard around here lately, but that isn’t an excuse to not help my customer. What can I do you for?”

Leslie understands probably more than Henry realizes, and she reaches out to touch his arm. “I first want to extend my thoughts to you and your family. I...know about Ben going to join the Union.”

Henry purses his lips and nods. “Thank you. Thing is, he didn’t even tell us. Just ran off in the middle of the night and left a note. Guess he figured we’d try to talk him out of it. I don’t think he realizes how much we appreciate him around here. My father’s home now comforting Mom and Steph, but even he is all out of sorts. The old bastard might be tough, but he still loves his son.” Henry’s eyes go wide and Leslie almost laughs. “My apologies, ma’am. I have no need to be talking like that in front of a lady. My mama raised me to have  _ some _ manners.”

Leslie laughs and waves her hand. “It’s alright. Nothing I haven’t said myself--or worse.” Her face turns somber again. “But Ben will be missed very much until he comes back.”

Henry looks up and searches her eyes. She’s not sure what he’s looking for, but after a moment, it looks like he’s found it.

“He told you, didn’t he?”

Leslie wants to lie, she really does. But how can she lie to the brother of the man that she loves. The brother that also loves Ben as much as she does. 

“He came to see me the night before he left. He told me of his plans, and...how he feels about me.”

Henry smiles softly. “Good ole Benji. Always waitin’ ‘till the last minute to do everything. I’m happy he told you, and I’m happy that it looks like he isn’t the only one that has feelings. He deserves a good woman.”

Leslie lowers her head. “Thank you. I just want him to come home safe and sound. I pray for it every night, and every letter I’ve been writing to him I end with ‘come home to me’. I’ve been writing him a letter every day. Well, I write two letters. One on paper to send and then make a copy in a journal I keep so I can have them for myself. You know, for posterity.”

Henry barks out a laugh. “I can see why he loves you. Now,” Henry rubs his hands together, “what can I get for you? We just got some of that heavy whipping cream you like so much in.”

“Oh, yes, please! And some sugar and strawberry preserves.”

He rummages behind the counter and pulls out the items. “You know, I think that sweet tooth of yours is keeping a lot of us in business. We definitely appreciate it.”

“Happy to be of service. And honestly, if you need anything in Ben’s absence, you let me know. I want to help.”

“Funny, I was going to say the same to you. You might be family one day, Leslie Knope. And family takes care of each other, right?”

There was a fluttering in her belly at the thought of becoming a part of Ben’s family. Definitely a very good feeling. “I couldn’t agree more.” She hands Henry the money for her goods, plus a little extra that she insists he keep.

He nods gratefully, his eyes flicking over to the spot that was-- _ is _ Ben’s area in the back. His small desk is still there, as is the book where Ben kept track of all of the inventory and expenses. 

“I don’t know if I’ll get used to looking there and not seeing him,” Henry says.

“Well, let’s just hope that he’s not gone long enough for you to get used to it.”

“I like the way you think, Leslie. You have a good day, alright?”

“I’ll do my best. Send my regards to your family, please.”

“Will do. Steph is gonna be overjoyed that Ben finally worked up the courage to ask you. Just don’t be offended if she’s already planning your wedding and babies.”

“I won’t be.”

With one more smile and wave, Leslie leaves the store with her basket full of goods, oddly feeling lighter than she has in days.


	3. Forever Yours

Leslie is sitting at the small desk in her room when Ann comes running through her door.

“Leslie, they came!” Ann says somewhat out of breath. She holds out a small stack of letters, and Leslie jumps up with a scream.

“Oh my goodness,” Leslie says as she runs over to Ann and takes the envelops. “I can’t believe they're finally here.” She holds them close to her chest and closes her eyes, like it might bring her closer to Ben somehow.

Ann smiles and pats Leslie’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you alone to read these, but I want details once you’re finished.”

Leslie laughs and nods. “Of course. I’ll come find you when I’m done.”

With one more squeeze, Ann leaves Leslie alone with Ben’s letters. She runs to her bed and settles in before pulling out the first one.

_ My Dearest Leslie, _

_ I can not describe the joy in my heart at being able to write those words to you, knowing that, finally, you are mine and I am yours. I have lost count of the number of times that I have dreamed about writing to you, how many letters I’ve started just like this one that I never had the courage to send to you. _

_ I remember the first time that I saw you. We had just come into town, and you were the first person that came out to greet us. When I peered out from the back of the wagon, I swear that my sixteen-year-old eyes had never seen anyone more beautiful, and the same rings true today. And since that day, I realized that there has also never been anyone more hardworking, more caring, more headstrong and determined. _

_ I wish I could say the moment that I knew I was in love with you, but I honestly can’t. I knew the moment I first laid eyes on you, the moment that you smiled at me and welcomed me to Pawnee, that I wanted to get to know you. I would wait every single day and pray that every jingling of the bell at the door was you coming into the store. _

_ And those times that it was you, my heart would flutter and my insides clenched. Every single time, I still felt like that sixteen-year-old boy seeing you for the very first time. You always had a smile that I felt was just for me, and with every passing conversation, I grew to care for you more and more until one day I realized that this feeling I had was love.  _

_ If I was a more courageous man, I would have told you how I felt long ago, but I was a coward. I let my fear of rejection stand in the way. How could I possibly expect someone like you to be interested in someone like me? The mayor’s daughter with the whole world at her fingertips, with a lowly shop owner's son. _

_ I realize now how foolish that had been, and I wish for nothing more than to be able to turn back time, to have more time with you. But enough about looking to the past. I swear now to only focus on the future,  _ _ our _ _ future, together. I meant every word that I said the other night to you, Leslie. My heart physically aches now that I can’t be with you, but it also has hope. The hope that I have something even greater to fight for, the hope that your love for me will help me make it through what will undoubtedly be the most trying time of my life. _

_ The journey from Pawnee to the Capital was long but thankfully not too harsh. I’m sure nothing like what awaits me with the Union. When I arrived in Indianapolis, I was surprised to see just how many other men were there to sign up. It filled me with such a sense of pride, and I know you’d also be proud to know just how many others are willing to fight for our cause. _

_ There was a whole company started up from the volunteers from Pawnee alone, and I was assigned to them immediately. I recognize a few faces from the store, but don’t know them well. I also ran into Andy Dwyer, whom I know you are friendly with. I have a feeling that he and I will get to know one another a lot better as we fight together. He mentioned to me about his relationship with your friend April, and I hope you don’t mind that I let him know about us. Being away from our loved ones appears to be something we instantly bonded over. _

_ I’ve only just arrived in town, so I don’t quite know what to expect once we set up camp on the outskirts of the city, or how frequently the mail will be collected. But be sure that I will write as often as I can. And on those days when I’m unable to write, know that my thoughts are still of you. That my heart is beating for you. That the greatest joy in my life will be in winning this war and seeing you again. _

_ Oh, the Colonel is calling for us all to assemble, so I have to go. Word has it that we’ll be staying here training for the next month or so, so the address I’ll put on the envelope is where you should be able to send me any mail. If anything changes, I will let you know as soon as I can.  _

_ I love you, Leslie, with all of my heart, and I can not wait until I have you in my arms again. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Ben _

It isn’t until she reads through the letter for the third time that Leslie realizes she’s crying. A tear splashes against the paper, and she sniffs, wiping at her eyes. 

These are the most conflicted tears she has ever cried--a mixture of unadulterated joy at finally being able to hear from her beloved, but also the deepest kind of sadness at him not being here to tell her these words himself.

She has no doubts about what kinds of horrors he is going to face as a soldier. And while she refuses to really believe it, there is a hidden part of her that knows he might not make it back. A part of her that she promptly tells to shut it in the most unladylike way imaginable.

But she’s excited, too. Excited that now she finally knows where to send the letters that have been piling up over the last several days. Because of the war, the post has been incredibly efficient--so she’s heard, and there’s a good chance that she and Ben could have decent correspondences as opposed to a few ill-timed letters.

Leslie wipes again at her tears, opening up the remaining letters that he wrote to her before he was finally able to mail them.

He tells her all about the camp, about the early mornings and exhausting training sessions. He tells her about the other men, about his growing friendship with Andy, the latest news and gossip about the war.

And he tells her how much he loves her. He peppers his letters with little stories of when she would come into the store or he would see her walking down Main Street with Ann. How he would have dreams about her golden hair, would smell the phantom scent of her perfume even hours after she left the store.

He says that there is a bird nesting in a tree near his tent that never seems to sleep and that it reminds him of her. There’s also a small restaurant in Indianapolis owned by a Dutch family that supposedly has the best waffles in Indiana, but he doubts they could ever be better than JJ’s. 

Indianapolis is a beautiful city, he tells her, and he wants to bring her there one day. The Statehouse alone is worth seeing in person. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him that her father had brought her there once before when he was there on business. She’ll go with Ben a million times to the Statehouse if it will make him happy--but it doesn’t hurt that it truly is an architectural masterpiece.

And every letter he signs the same.  _ Forever yours _ . 

Leslie traces the curling loops in the Y of his almost disgustingly perfect script, trying to imagine where exactly he was when he wrote this, what he was wearing, how long after a drill this was, if he was curled up in his tent writing by lantern light

_ Forever yours. _

With a shaky sigh, Leslie gently moves Ben’s letters aside and reaches for her own quill pen and paper.

Now that she has an address to send them to, Leslie has a few more letters to write.

~~~~~

Ben has never been this tired in his entire life. 

The daily wakeup calls are well before sunrise, and the days last well into the night. Drills, mostly. Marching, formation, attack strategies, things of that nature. He had never fired a musket before, and the feel of it in his hands is foreign at first, but he soon learns along with the rest of the new recruits. 

His hands are rough and calloused, so unused to amount of physical labor he is now forced to do. After those first days, it hurts to even hold the quill pen in his hand, but he refuses to go even one day without writing to Leslie. 

He knows it could be weeks before he gets anything back, but the thought alone that Leslie Knope is waiting for him back home is enough. It’s enough to wake up every morning when his body aches, enough to keep going when all he wants to do is collapse on the training grounds and give up. 

He dreams of her every single night without fail. He had plenty of dreams before the night that he confessed his love for her, but these are different. In these dreams, he knows what it’s like to hold Leslie in his arms. He knows how she tastes, what her lips feel like pressed against his own.

He knows that they will have a future together if-- _ when _ he goes back home again.

There are some mornings where he wakes in a blissful haze, believing for those first few seconds that Leslie is sleeping soundly beside him. But when he rolls over on his bed on the hard ground to nothing but cold emptiness, it feels like a part of him dies.

But he still has those dreams to hold onto. Graphic, vivid dreams he might have felt tempted to confess to a minister if they weren’t the only things in life giving him any joy.

All Ben can do now is hope that those dreams will become a reality soon enough.

In the meantime, he and Andy grow close, latching onto each other as one of the few ties to home. They pair up in most of the drills, their bond growing stronger out on the training grounds as well as back at camp. Ben never had issues with Andy, but he is pleasantly surprised to find the young man so genuine and caring. It helps so much to have a friend.

“Hiya, Ben,” Andy says with his usual smile as he sits down beside him with his bowl of stew. 

“Hello, Andy.”

“Goodness, drills were torture today, eh? I don’t think there is a part of my body that doesn’t hurt.”

“They definitely were.”

“But it’s all worth it, right?”

And if there is anything that Ben knows to be true, it’s that Andy truly believes what he says. Not that Ben doesn’t also feel the same way, but having someone as sure and positive as Andy by his side makes it all just a little bit easier.

“It sure is. We’re doing the right thing, Andy.”

Andy nods with a smile and scoops another spoonful of stew into his mouth. “I just miss home, though. I’ve never been this far from Pawnee for this long before.”

“Neither have I. I hope my family is alright. I didn’t even tell them I was leaving. Just left behind a note.”

Andy’s eyes go wide. “So no one knew you were signing up?”

“Just Leslie. I knew if I told my family, no one would take it well. Hell, I wasn’t even sure how Leslie would take it, but I had to tell her how I felt before I left. Snuck over to the Mayor’s house in the middle of the night and everything.”

“I don’t know what’s more brave,” Andy says with a laugh, “leaving to join the Union or trespassing on Mayor Knope’s property for a midnight tryst with his daughter.”

“At the time, it definitely felt like the latter,” Ben answers with a smile. “But once she told me that she loved me too, I tell you, not even shaking hands with President Lincoln himself would feel as good as that.” Ben looks down at his own bowl and blushes. “Look at me, talking like a lovesick schoolboy.”

“It’s alright,” Andy says with a nudge to his shoulder. “I could go on all day about April, too. That’s what it feels like to be in love. And right now, with what we got ahead of us, ain’t no one gonna fault you for thinking about your girl and holding onto that little bit of happiness. It doesn’t hurt that I also think the world of Leslie, too.”

Ben smiles and dips some of his bread into his bowl. “Thanks, Andy. Means a lot.”

“Sure thing.”

“Tell you what. When we get back, the four of us should all go out sometime. You and Leslie can come to our house, or we can go to JJ’s. Maybe stop by and get some of Ron’s moonshine. I tell you, what I wouldn’t give for some of that right now.”

“That sounds great, Andy.”

Ben doesn’t allow himself to even  _ fathom _ that one of them might not make it home alive. 

“Alright, men,” comes Colonel Trumple’s booming voice. “Looks like we have our very first mail call.”

A loud murmur rises up from the camp and everyone stands. 

“Now calm down,” Trumple says with his hand up. “Just ‘cause you’re waiting for your ladies to write ya doesn’t mean you get to act like animals. You’re soldiers now. I’ll call your name alphabetically, and then you can come get what’s yours, you hear?”

“Yes, sir,” the men answer with impatient sighs. 

Those few minutes are pure torture for Ben, who has to wait to be one of the last names called. Andy practically sprints to the front when his name is called, clutching those few envelopes to his chest like they were made of gold.

“Wyatt,” Trumple calls out, and he lifts a stack larger than any of the others out from the mailbag. “You must have a lot of special someones back home, boy.”

There are a few snickers from the other men, but Ben ignores all of them. No, he only has that one special someone, and he’s not the least bit surprised that there seem to be a month’s worth of letters even though he’s only been gone two weeks. 

Leslie throws herself headfirst into everything that she does, and right now, a part of that revolved around him. He couldn’t be happier.

While the other men sit back down around the fire and open their letters from home, Ben sneaks away to his tent.

These are the first letters ever from Leslie, and he wants to read them in private.

His hands are shaking when he rips open the first envelope. A sweet smell fills his tent, and he realizes that Leslie spritzed the letter with a little bit of her perfume. He brings the paper to his nose and inhales, closing his eyes and imagining Leslie there with him.

When the anticipation becomes too much for him, he lowers the letter and reads.

_ My Ben, _

_ I started this letter about a hundred different ways, but nothing felt as right as this. You are my love, you are my one and only, you are the man of my dreams. But above all of that, you have always just been... My Ben. Ever since that very first day. _

_ It’s been less than a day since you’ve left, but it might as well be a hundred years. I don’t ever think that I have cried so hard. I couldn’t sleep, and for the first time since I can remember, getting out of bed felt like a chore. I almost didn’t want to until the great and beautiful Ann came to get me.  _

_ I know it shouldn’t surprise you that I told her about us immediately, but because she is so wise, she made me realize that crying over you and doing nothing weren’t going to bring you home any sooner. Did I mention how wise and beautiful Ann is? _

_ I also told my parents about us, and at first they were not very supportive, but don’t worry. I think that I have turned them around. They had the same doubts that you did, but just like I told you, I said that I did not care. I love you, and I accept all that it entails. _

_ You _ _ are all that I need to be happy. _

_ Since that conversation, my father as agreed to let me help in his efforts to support the Union. There’s talks of fundraisers and civilian camps being set up all over the North. Pawnee might even set one up, and if they do, Ann is going to help with the nursing. She’ll be the greatest nurse there ever was, I just know it. _

_ I have so many ideas about what we can do to help the Union, and I started filling up one of my journals already. My father is even going to let me come with him to City Hall. Isn’t that exciting! I can’t wait to actually have people listen to my ideas and make them happen. _

_ And it’s all for you, Ben. For you and the other soldiers. To free for the slaves. There are so many people supporting you. Please, please don’t ever forget that. No matter how hard things get, or how bleak it might look, you are on the side of righteousness. You are doing what’s right.  _

_ I want you to tell me everything. Tell me all about Indianapolis and the other men in your company. I want to know whatever you can tell me about the war, what we can be doing to help you. Just...everything. I want to feel as close to you as possible, Ben. I want to get to know you in the ways that we couldn’t before, courting one another in letters like they did on the old days. Ann thinks it’s romantic, and I tend to agree. Even though I’d much rather you here courting me in person, but I think we can be just as excellent this way, too. _

_ Goodness, I miss you so much. As much as I have been doing my best to distract myself, there’s still this little piece of my heart that feels empty. It feels like one of my biggest dreams was coming true only to have it taken away from me. Well, I suppose that’s exactly what this is.  _

_ I don’t even remember when you became one of my dreams. It just snuck up on me until one day, I realized what that fluttering in my stomach meant whenever someone said your name, or why I always tried to wear my best dresses just for going to your store. _

_ You always tried to hide from everyone, tucked away in the back of the store doing your best to be invisible. But you were never that way with me. I would watch you unfold before my eyes, going from this shy boy into a young man that talks about your interests with such  _ _ passion _ _. I don’t think I could help but fall in love with you when you talked to me like that. _

_ What I feel for you, Ben, is unlike anything I have ever felt before. No other man that has tried to court me ever made me feel as special as you did for those few moments a day that we would speak. No one ever looked at me the way you did, or valued my thoughts and opinions like you.  No one has ever made me feel...so loved. _

_ And I can only hope that I have made you feel a fraction of how you make me feel. This heavy beating of my heart in my chest, this stirring in my stomach. But most of all, this overwhelming peace I know I’ll have once you’re back here safe and sound and in my arms again. _

_ But until then, be safe. Know that not a moment goes by without me thinking of you. It might not be much, but I hope it can help you get through what awaits you as you fight in this war. I love you and I miss you, more than I could ever express in any letter. Come home to me, Ben. That’s all I ask. _

_ I will await your letters and your new address, but until then, I will still write you often.  _

_ With all of my love, _

_ Your Leslie _

Ben has never been a cryer, not with the stern father that he had, but in that moment, he feels tears prickling his eyes. He is very grateful he decided to do this on private. If the other men saw him, he’d never hear the end of it. 

Ben opens the remaining letters, spending most of the night reading and rereading them instead of getting precious sleep.

But this is so much more important.

She tells him all about her plans and ideas to help the Union, about her spending more time with April now that both of the men they love are at war. More tears gather in his eyes when she tells him about going to the store for the first time after Ben left. 

At the bottom of the pile is a letter from Henry, and Ben nearly starts weeping like a baby. His older brother tells him how proud he is, how his father still pretends to be mad, but Henry thinks he’s more afraid than angry. Henry swears he’ll come around and that he’s also proud, but Ben probably won’t believe it until he sees it with his own two eyes.

Henry says to expect a letter from Steph in a few days, and that she and Leslie have gotten close now that she has been spending so much time with them in Ben’s absence. A warm feeling fills his chest just imagining the love of his life and sister already getting along like family. 

Because if Ben has his way, one day they  _ will _ be. 

When the lamp in his tent finally dies, Ben takes it as a sign to finally get some much needed sleep, but not before tucking Leslie’s letters under his pillow.

He falls asleep to the smell of her perfume.


	4. Indianapolis Surprise

Leslie’s used to this by now.

The side glances, the not so subtle whispers as she walks through City Hall. She’s learned to ignore them as best as she can, but she can’t deny they’re there.

With so many men off fighting in the war, more and more women have come to work at City Hall, but more in clerical roles. Nothing like what her father has her doing.

There’s claims of nepotism, claims that he’s ruining his reelection chances by having his  _ daughter _ help come up with ideas of how to help the war effort, but thankfully, he doesn’t seem to care either. 

Leslie is going to prove all of them wrong. Prove that women could do so much more to help than sit and wait. That their ideas are just as valid as any man’s. 

She wipes her hand down the front of her petticoat and knocks on the door.

“Come in,” her father’s voice says from the other side, and she pushes it open.

“I apologize for being late,” she says and takes the seat across from him at his desk.

Her father just smiles and leans back against his chair. “No need to be sorry, darling. I know that the post came this morning and you had some letters to read. How is everything?”

“As well as they can be, I suppose. They’re still training hard, and Ben says he feels exhausted every night. They just received word that they might be moving to a new location in a month or so. He said that they’re not planning on them seeing combat soon, but I’m still worried. Having him still in the state makes me feel a little better. Once he’s gone… I don’t know what I’ll do not knowing.”

Mayor Knope folds his hands on his desk. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. That just means that we have to work even harder here, right?”

Leslie returns her father’s encouraging smile and nods. It’s all she really has now. This work, making sure that they’re doing everything they can for the war effort. She knows what people think of her father right now, and she’s never been more grateful for him. He’s helping her just as much as they’re trying to help everyone else. 

“Right.” She pulls out the journals and other papers from her bag. “So, I’ve come up with some ideas about how to go about getting Pawnee on the list to have a rehabilitation camp set up here. I’ve outlined a list of pros and cons, and have a few different drafts of petition letters to the State. We have plenty of space for the medical tents and supplies, plus we have enough commerce downtown to support the influx of people. Oh, and I also outlined some possible ways to raise money for the war effort and weighed the expected cost of some events against anticipated donations. Plus, if we can get any local businesses to donate supplies, that saves us even more.”

Leslie passes the notes across the desk to her father, rocking back and forth in her seat with an expectant smile.

He scans through the pages, his spectacles low on his nose. “Leslie, this looks phenomenal.”

“Really? You don’t think it is too much, do you? Or not enough. Possibly not enough, but--”

“No, sweetheart, really, this is perfect. In all my years as mayor, this is one of the most thought out and well written proposals I’ve ever read.” He looks up and smiles warmly, winking at her. “And not just because I’m biased that my daughter happens to be a genius.”

Leslie’s smile only grows wider. “Really? You think so?”

“Indeed I do. I’m so proud of you. I think this is just what we’re going to need to petition the State.”

As unladylike as it might be, Leslie’s jaw drops. “Wait, you mean it? You want to use  _ my _ proposal?”

“Of course I do. Why not? It’s perfectly written and outlines everything I would have ever thought of--and more.”

“But..would they even read it? I mean, if they knew  _ I _ wrote it?”

Her father waves his hand and laughs. “That’s one of the wonderful things about your name, honey. They’ll see the name Leslie and never once think something this wonderful was written by a women. Terrible as it is, but it’s true.  _ Then _ once they approve it, we can knock them right outta their boots.”

“Oh, Daddy, I’m so excited!”

“Good, I’m glad. You should be. You did good work here. We’ll end this war and bring your boy back in no time.”

Leslie bites her lip and sighs. “I hope so. I really, really hope so.”

Mayor Knope stands when there’s another knock on the door, one of the City Hall assistants standing there with a envelope in his hands.

“Sorry to interrupt you, sir,” the boy says, “but this just came for you. Urgent from the Statehouse.”

Leslie turns to look at the young Lerpiss boy, probably not a day over 14, and smiles. 

“Oh, M-Miss Leslie!” the boy says quickly and takes off his hat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. I don’t mean to be so rude.”

“That’s quite alright. How are you today?”

“Me? Oh, I-I’m fine, thank you, ma’am.”

“And your family? I know your eldest brother joined the Union recently.”

The boy lowers his eyes and rubs the back of his neck. “As well as can be, I reckon. Mama still cries sometimes, but my father says we should be proud of what he’s doing. Says they really appreciate what you are all trying to do to help.”

“Of course. You give them my best, please. We all have someone we love fighting in this war.”

The boy gives her a curious look. “Oh. Pardon my asking, but do you…do you have a beau in the Union?”

“I do.”

It still feels so odd to say that outloud, but odd in a good way. She would shout it from the rooftops if she could.

Leslie has to stop herself from laughing at the way the young boy’s face falls at the news, as if he was holding out until he was old enough to court her himself. Although, she has turned down more than one of his brothers, too. 

“Oh, well, I hope he makes it back safe. I wonder if he and my brother are fighting together.”

“I’m sure it’s possible. Ben says that there’s a whole regiment made up of just men from Pawnee.”

The boy just nods and wrings the hat in his hands. 

“Thank you, young man,” Mayor Knope says after opening the letter. “You’re free to go.”

“You’re welcome, sir. Ma’am,” he says again looking at Leslie before turning around and walking fast down the hallway. 

“Poor thing,” Leslie says once her father sits back down and takes out the letter. “It must be hard on them with the eldest gone. I know he was doing a lot of the work on the farm.”

Her father hums in agreement. “True, but it looked to me like he was more torn up about you having a beau than anything. I bet all the boys in that household will be in mourning over that.”

“Oh, Daddy, be serious,” she says with an eye roll. 

“I wish I wasn’t. More than a few times one of those boys has come to me asking after you. As if I was the one they had to convince and not you. But I should have expected it. You’re just as smart and beautiful as your mother. And if your boy is anything like I was with your mother, he’s wondering how on earth he got so lucky.”

Leslie blushes and lowers her head. “I think I’m the lucky one.” She looks up and catches her father’s eye. “But he does love me. I know that.”

“Good.”

“So, what’s the letter about?” Leslie asks after clearing her throat. “Anything important.”

“Well, as a matter of fact, yes. Looks like they want to get a head start on proposing the camps throughout the state. There’s going to be a meeting next week in Indianapolis for the different representatives to present their case.”

“That’s wonderful! You’ll convince them for sure.”

Her father puts down the letter and cocks his head to the side, eyeing her. “Perhaps. But I have an idea. How would you like to come with me? Now, they won’t let you speak, which is ridiculous, but the truth. But I think since I’m going to be presenting your idea, you at least have the right to come and hear it. Also, if we get there a little early, say on Sunday when the soldiers aren’t training, maybe you can pay a surprise visit to that boy of yours.”

Leslie sits there stunned. She can’t have heard him right. What he’s suggesting. It’s...it’s--

“Really?” she chokes out with wide eyes. “You mean it?”

“Of course I do.”

Leslie gets up out of her chair and runs straight into her father’s arms. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t--- I can’t even-- I don’t know what to say. This means so much to me. All of it.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. You deserve to hear your words being read on the Statehouse floor, and you deserve to see your boy one more time before he gets sent out.”

She’s crying now because how can she get  _ that _ kind of news and not cry. She’s not made of stone. 

Leslie finally pulls away and wipes at her eyes. “Thank you so much. This is the best news of my life. I need to go home right now and figure out how I’m going to surprise him. And I have to write him so it gets to him in enough time once I figure out how to trick him.”

She kisses her father on the cheek before running from the room, the sound of her father’s low chuckle ringing in her ear.

~~~~~

Ben walks from the camp towards downtown with his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. 

Every Sunday feels like a gift when it comes, the six days of training always taking its toll on him. He had planned on spending the day at the camp catching up on sleep, but when he received Leslie’s letter, he made other plans.

He’s not sure what to expect once he gets to the Statehouse. All he knows is that Leslie said someone would be there to deliver a special “surprise” to him. No matter how tired he might be, he’ll never too tired to get a surprise from her.

A few of the locals wave to Ben as he walks by, more and more shops now staying open on Sundays to accommodate the soldiers staying in town. It still feels odd to him, having strangers respect and thank him now that he wears the Union uniform, but he doesn’t hate it. He nods his head and waves back. 

If anything, Ben just hopes that he can pick up his “surprise”, and then hopefully go back to the camp to rest and catch up on his letter reading and writing. He reads her letters until he has them memorized, pressing the paper to his nose to smell the perfume she sprays on every single letter without fail.

Sometimes he goes into town with the other soldiers, especially Andy, but most of the time he is content to spend that time feeling as close to Leslie as possible. 

When he rounds the corner towards the Statehouse, he looks around to see what Leslie might possible have for him. In her letter, she didn’t specify what or who would be there waiting for her. She just said that “he’d know”.

From a distance, he sees a figure step out from behind some trees, and he squints to try to make it out. 

No.

It can’t be. His eyes are playing tricks on him or he’s hallucinating.

He walks faster and faster until he’s sprinting down the street towards the now clear figure of a blissfully smiling Leslie.

He fears that he’s hurt her by the time he crashes into her, pulling her against him and never wanting to let her go. But if he was too abrupt, she doesn’t let on, only wrapping her arms around him and squeezing back. 

“Is this real?” he whispers into her hair, almost afraid of the answer. 

“It’s real.”

He pulls back far enough to see her face, to drink in every inch of her that he possibly can. There were times when he wasn’t sure he’d ever see her again, but now, having her here and in his arms…

He reaches up to grasp her face, his thumbs running over her cheeks, her nose, her lips. Lord almighty, her lips.

Lips that he hasn’t kissed yet.

Ben doesn’t care about what’s appropriate. Doesn’t care that he’s now kissing a woman he’s not married to in broad daylight.

Once again, Leslie doesn’t seem to care, either. She kisses back with every ounce of enthusiasm he’s come to expect from her.

They pull away, breathless, foreheads resting against one another as they breathe each other in.

“How?” Ben asks. “How is this possible?”

“My father. I told you how I was helping him with proposals and ideas for setting up a rehabilitation camp in Pawnee. They moved up their meetings for towns to present their cases, and my father wanted me to come. He’s going to use the proposal I wrote and says even if they wouldn’t let me read it myself, I deserve to hear it. He suggested we come a little early so I could surprise you.”

“Really? Your father suggested that?”

Leslie nods and smiles up at him. A smile that shines brighter than all of the stars in the sky. “He knows how important you are to me, and he just wants to make me happy. But I would not be surprised if this wasn’t also an excuse to formally meet you as the man courting me.”

Ben swallows and immediately steps back to look around. He can only imagine the things Mayor Knope would do to him if he saw Ben kissing his only daughter like that in public. “Your father is here? Where? He didn’t see that, did he. I--”

“Darling, no. Calm yourself,” she laughs and cups his cheek with her palm. “He’s back at the Inn where we’re staying right now. He’s giving us the day to walk around town and be together, but he’d like to meet with the both of us for dinner, if that’s alright with you.”

Ben is still hung up on the fact that she called him darling. He’ll agree to anything for her, no matter how terrifying her father might be. And she looks so hopeful, so excited for them to meet. He can't turn her down.

“Y-yes. That’s fine. Soldiers get the whole day to ourselves. As long as I’m back at the camp by curfew, I should be fine.”

He didn’t know it was even possible, but Leslie smiles wider and throws her arms around him again. 

“I’m so happy,” she says, her face buried in his chest. “I never knew it was possible to be this happy.”

Ben presses a kiss to the top of her head and sighs. “I feel the exact same way. I feel like this is too good to be true. Like a dream that I never want to wake up from.”

Leslie raises her head, moving a hand to the back of his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. One that he feels all the way down to his toes. 

“Still feel like a dream, soldier?”

“Better. Even I couldn’t dream of something this magnificent.”

Leslie reaches down to lace their fingers together. “Now, as much as I would love to stand here and stare deeply into each other’s eyes, I believe that you promised me a tour of the city in one of your letters.”

He brings the back of her hand to his lips. “That I did. Come with me, my love, and I will show you all there is to see.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye out for the second half of their Indianapolis adventure coming soon!


	5. Indianapolis Surprise II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a somewhat long chapter with tons of fluff. It's to make up for what I'm going to do to them soon....

It all feels so surreal.

After waiting and anticipating, after going over outfit after outfit with Ann until she found the perfect one, Leslie is finally here with Ben.

She doesn’t tell him that she’s been to Indianapolis before, or that there hasn’t been too much he’s told her on their tour that she didn’t already know. She’s just beyond ecstatic to be here with him, to hear his voice, to have him look at her with such love and excitement. 

It really does feel like a dream come true.

Some had warned her that it wasn’t real. That she was getting caught up in a whirlwind romance that would not last once Ben comes back from the war. That the Mayor’s daughter could do so much better than a lowly shopkeeper's son, and soon enough, she’d realize that.

But as she walks with him, talks with him like they used to in the store, she knows they couldn’t be more wrong. 

No, it’s  _ not _ like how they were in the store. It’s better, so much better. There’s no awkwardness, no skirting around any feelings they might have. It’s just them, together, in love.

He tells her about the different buildings and what he’s learned about them, about the places he likes to go with Andy when they have time to themselves. They often pass other soldiers on the street, and even though Ben doesn’t know most of them, they still exchange a friendly greeting and wave. 

“This feels like a dream,” Leslie says as they continue walking. “There have been times today when I just forget why we’re even here. I forget that this is the only day I have with you until who knows when. I forget that you’re a soldier and just awaiting orders to fight. It feels like...like we’re just two people here enjoying the city together. Then I see another soldier, and it all comes back to me.”

Ben wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “Let’s not… let’s not dwell on that. We can pretend that it’s true. Forget everything else. No war, no separation, no fighting, no uniform. Just...us.”

Leslie smiles and runs her fingers over the buttons of his top. “But I  _ like _ this uniform. You look very...dashing and handsome in it.”

Ben straightens his back and brushes a hand down the front of his uniform. “You think so?”

“Yes, I do.” 

Ben smirks and his eyes rake up and down her body. “And what about you? I don’t think I’ve mentioned enough times how beautiful you look.”

Leslie grabs at the fabric over her hoop skirt and twirls. “Oh, this old thing? I just agonized for hours about what to wear and then ended up going to Tom Haverford’s store downtown and buying a completely new outfit. I figured I should look extra special this trip.”

“It’s gorgeous.  _ You’re _ gorgeous.”

“Alright,” Leslie says with a cackle before looping her arm through his and pulling them down the street. “Now, enough flattery. I know it won’t be as good as JJ’s, but I want to try the waffles here, and you promised me you’d take me there someday.”

“Anything for you, my love. I’ve gone there quite a few times since I’ve been here, and I think I might have talked a little  _ too _ much about you to the couple that owns the restaurant. They will be happy to meet you just to know that I’m not insane and making you up.”

“Aww, you talk about me?”

“To anyone who will listen,” he winks, and Leslie feels like her insides are melting.

When they walk into the small restaurant, an older women with a thick accent greets them enthusiastically and pulls Ben in for a hug.

“And who is this?” she asks pointing at Leslie. “This can not be the girl you always talk about? Benjamin, she is more beautiful than even you said.”

“I told you,” he smiles. “Words don’t do her justice. Mrs. Janssen, this is my Leslie.  Leslie, Mrs. Janssen and her husband own the restaurant.”

Leslie puts out her hand to shake, but the woman ignores it and pulls her in for a hug. “It is so good to finally meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you as well. Ben has told me all about your famous waffles.”

“Ah, he told me you were a girl with fine taste. I’ll go tell my Samuel to make up a special batch just for you. Go sit down, and I will be right back.”

Ben pulls out Leslie’s chair for her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head once she’s seated. 

“Tell me more about things back home,” Ben says. “I want to know everything.”

“There’s not much more to tell,” Leslie sighs. “It’s tough with so many of the men off in the war. We’ve really had to rally together to help some of the families. I have still been spending as much time with April as I can. I don’t think she appreciates it nearly as much as I do, but I know she still does in her own way. I go visit your family as often as I can. They’ve perked up since you started writing them.”

Ben sighs and runs a hand down his face. “I know I should have done so sooner, but I was just so worried they’d hate me for running off.”

Leslie reaches across the table for Ben’s hand. “They love you and are very proud of you. They’re upset that you’re here, but only because they worry about you.”

“I know you’re right. It was just… things had been strained between us for a while, with my father... I suppose I just feared the worst about how they would react. But it has been good hearing from them. And Steph. I worry about her when I’m not there.”

“I know you do. It’s because you’re a good older brother, but she has Henry to look out for her. We have been spending time together, too. She is a fine young women, darling. You don’t need to worry. And I might have noticed a few possible suitors asking after her--”

Ben’s eyes narrow and his jaw sets. It’s almost comical. “Who? No, nevermind, it doesn’t matter. She’s too young.”

“Ben,” Leslie laughs, “half of the girls her age in town are married by now. She’s more than old enough.”

He grumbles and crosses his arms. “Impossible. She’s still the ten year old girl in pigtails picking wildflowers with dirt smudged on her cheek.”

“She is a beautiful young woman that wants to have her own family someday. Not all girls are old maids like me.”

Ben brings her hand up to his lips again, making her skin tingle. “You are far from an old maid. I know it makes me selfish, but I’m grateful for whatever circumstances lead to me being with you, including your so called ‘spinsterhood’. Every time I heard the rumors of who was trying to court you, I swear, my blood would boil.”

“That’s not selfish,” she replies with a smile. “I feel the same way. Whenever I’d catch Shauna trying to make eyes at you, I wanted to pull out her hair.”

Ben chuckles and shakes his head, and even once Mrs. Janssen comes back with their food, he doesn’t let go of her hand. No one seems to mind their public affection, which she is grateful for. It could be months--years before she might see Ben again. She wants to touch him as much as she possibly can.

At the end of lunch, they stand to leave, wanting to have plenty of time to see more sites before meeting Leslie’s father for dinner.

“Delicious as always, Mrs. Janssen,” Ben says as he reaches for his wallet. “Give my compliments to Mr. Janssen for me, please.”

“I will. And no,” she says, waving away the coins Ben pulls out. “Your money is no good here.”

“Oh, but--”

“Tut tut,” she replies. “You are fighting for our country and keep an old lady like me company. You use that money to buy your woman something nice, yes?”

Leslie can tell Ben wants to protest again, but one look at Mrs. Janssen’s face lets them both know there is no winning against her.  

“I will. Thank you.”

She pulls Ben in for another hug and pat on the back before turning to Leslie. “So good to meet you, my dear. You’ve got yourself a good man.”

Leslie looks over at Ben and smiles, her heart bursting. “I know. And thank you for being so kind to him. It eases my heart to know that he’s being well fed when I’m not around.”

Mrs. Janssen laughs loudly. “Of course, my dear. He is far too skinny. I will fatten him up before he leaves to fight. You have my word. Now, go enjoy the rest of your day together instead of keeping an old woman like me company. Go.”

Ben extends his arm and Leslie links her own arm through, throwing another smile and gracious farewell to Mrs. Janssen over her shoulder.

~~~~~

A lot of the shops are closed on Sunday, but Ben takes Leslie to an outdoor market that sprang up around the time the soldiers started moving to the state capital. Some of the clothing is unlike anything Leslie has ever seen. Colors and styles she would have never even imagined from merchants all over the world. 

They run into more soldiers here, some from Ben’s unit looking to buy little trinkets to send home. She greets them all kindly, thanking them for their service and wishing them the best for the future. 

But she definitely notices how some of them look at her, men who have been away from their own loved ones for so long, and she feels the way Ben’s arm around her waist tightens.

“I apologize for that,” Ben says after one particularly...interesting encounter. “Some of the men here...they’re far from home. It’s not an excuse, but it’s what happens. There are women here and there that men go to when they get... _ lonely _ , but it’s not the same as when they see someone like you out on the street. I’m sure I’m gonna hear it once I get back to the camp. Word travels fast around here.”

“Oh,” she says slowly. “And, uh, do you… get  _ lonely _ .”

Ben’s eyes go wide and it looks like he’s about to choke on his own tongue. “What? No, I mean I do get lonely, but not  _ lonely _ . I mean, perhaps that as well, but I don’t, you know, seek anyone out. I’ve never… what I mean to say is…ever, with  _ anyone-- _ ”

Leslie squeezes his hand. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I asked. I just… I have heard things about what goes on around the camps and got...curious. I apologize.”

“Leslie,” Ben cups her cheeks, “there is  _ no _ one for me but you. No one I ever want to be with in  _ any _ way. I know that some of the married men here...seek these women out, but I would never do that to you.”

“I know that. I just...this is all so new to me still. I’m hearing all of these stories and it makes me curious about what happens here. It almost feels like a different world. A big, different, scary world.”

“ _ You _ are my world.”

For the thousandth time that day alone, Leslie wonders how on earth she became so fortunate. 

“I love you. I feel like I can’t say that enough.”

“I love you, too, Leslie.”

Hiding her blush, she turns away to admire a set of gloves on one of the merchant’s tables. The fabric is soft yet sturdy, and would go perfectly with the blouse and skirt she brought with her for the meeting tomorrow.

“Those are lovely,” Ben says next to her.

“They really are.”

Ben lightly brushes a hand across her back, raising a hand to signal the owner of the small stand.

“Ben, what are you doing?”

“I’m buying these for you. Is it so wrong to want to get a gift for the love of my life?”

“But… they’re too expensive. I--”

“Darling, please, let me do this for you if nothing else. I get a salary from the Army. I send some of it home to help with the store, and Henry has been putting the rest of it away for me--for us. So that when I come back home, I can buy us a house once we’re married. The rest, well, the rest is spending money that I don’t have a lot to spend on. I want to spend it on you.”

With her lip between her teeth, Leslie nods, clutching the gloves to her chest as Ben hands over the money to the merchant. 

“Thank you. I love them even more now.”

“Just promise to think of me when you wear them.”

“Impossible,” Leslie says. “You already occupy my every thought.”

“And you, mine.”

Leslie is so tempted to throw caution to the wind and kiss him right there in the crowd, but she manages to show some self-restraint. She settles for looking into his eyes and hoping that he can see how much she loves him.

How much she  _ wants _ him.

Oh, she knows it’s borderline sinful. Knows she isn’t supposed to be having these thoughts about a man who isn’t her husband yet, but she can’t help herself. She wants him to be hers in every sense of the word. 

The bells at the nearby church ring at the top of the hour, causing Leslie to sigh.

“We should go. If we leave now, we will be able to meet my father for dinner just in time.”

When Ben’s eyes go wide and he swallows like a man on his way to the gallows, Leslie does not even attempt to hide her laugh. 

~~~~~

Ben walks with his spine straight and eyes forward, trying to look every bit the military man he is training to be.

But all of the training in the world has not prepared him for this, nor does it stop the slight tremble of his hand. 

Leslie is gracious enough not to say anything, but the tiny smile on her lips as they walk to the inn says it all.

Ben has only met Mayor Knope a few times, almost always in passing and never many words spoken between them. The thought of meeting the most powerful man in their City because he has plans of marrying his daughter does little to settle the queasiness in Ben’s stomach. 

“Love, relax,” Leslie says as they turn the corner and the inn comes into view. “My father knows how much you mean to me, and he respects you for what you’re doing. He just wants to formally meet you and get to know you, that’s all. No need to worry.”

“You say that, but you seem to be forgetting just how intimidating your father can be, especially when it comes to you.”

“We already talked and he promised to be on his best behavior. All you need to do is be your adorable, charming self, and he will love you.”

His lips quirk. “Well, that seemed to work on you just fine.”

Leslie whips her head around and her jaw drops. “Why, Benjamin Wyatt, you made a joke.”

“I have been known to be humorous when the occasion calls for it.”

“My father appreciates a good sense of humor, so that occasion might just be coming up.”

Ben holds open the door for her at the tavern at the bottom floor of the Inn. Mayor Knope is already seated at one of the tables, and he stands with a smile as the couple approaches. 

But he’s not the only one. A few of the patrons also stand and clap, others raising their glasses in Ben’s direction to thank him for his service.

“Mayor Knope,” Ben says, extending his hand and mustering all of the strength and composure he can, “it’s an honor to see you again, sir.”

“The honor is all mine,” Mayor Knope says as he shakes Ben’s hand. “We all owe you a debt of gratitude for your service.”

“No need to thank me. I’m just doing what’s right.” 

Ben pulls out Leslie’s chair, and the two men wait until Leslie is seated before sitting down themselves. 

Leslie scoots her chair closer to Ben’s side, the latter gulping as he watches Mayor Knope’s eyes follow the chair’s movements.

Soon, a hand finds his under the table, giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

He squeezes back. 

The mayor folds his hands on the table, his body relaxed against the chair. “So, Ben, how is training? I have certainly heard some stories.”

“It is definitely a change. We wake early, we train hard during the day and well into the night. Sleep is precious and hard to come by, but then again, those Southerners aren’t looking to come for us when we’re prepared and well rested either, I suppose. It’s hard work, there is no denying that, but it needs to be done.”

Mayor Knope nods and raises his glass up. “I’ll drink to that. We are doing our best to make sure you boys have everything you need to win this war.”

“We appreciate it, sir. Leslie has been telling me of your plans. I know I speak for many when I tell you how grateful we are to have your support. I wish you the best of luck tomorrow when you present the proposal.” 

“Thank you. With Leslie’s brilliant plan, I don’t see how we can fail.”

Leslie beams with pride, Ben looking over at her with his own adoring smile. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Leslie blushes and hides her mouth behind a napkin before placing it back on the table. “Well, as much as I would love to stay here while you heap praise upon me, I need to go freshen up before dinner. Try to play nice in my absence, please.”

Mayor Knope chuckles to himself as Leslie stands, Ben looking after her until she turns the corner and out of sight.

It’s not until the Mayor’s throat clears that Ben realizes he has been caught staring. 

“You love her.”

It isn’t a question, just a statement of fact that Ben can’t deny. Couldn’t deny even if he wanted to. 

“Yes, sir. I love her more than anything in this life. And for whatever reason, she loves me as well, and I will forever be grateful for that. I know that I am not the ideal choice for her, but I swear to you that I will spend my life doing everything that I can for her. My family isn’t rich, but I have savings. I work hard, and she will want for nothing.”

Ben felt empowered by his statement, and he looks Mayor Knope in the face as the elder gentlemen eyes Ben. 

“I believe you,” he eventually says. “Some men want their daughters to marry for money or power, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her. Leslie never cared about things like that. I don’t think I could live with myself if I sent my daughter off to live an unhappy life with someone she didn’t love. She believes that you will make her happy, and so far, you haven’t done anything to disprove that.”

Ben has enough wits to keep his face neutral despite utter joy rising inside of him.

“Thank you, sir. Your blessing means the world to me.” Ben looks down at the table and makes a fist at the top of his thigh. “I can’t talk about these things with Leslie, but I have no delusions about what I am going to be facing. I might not come back the same person I was when I left, if I come back at all. I will do everything I can do make it home alive and marry Leslie, but I always fear that will not happen. I know she fears it, too, but is too optimistic to even voice it.”

Mayor Knope nods slowly. “Yes, she always did have a tendency to only focus on the positive almost to a fault. It’s helped her rise above anything I would have expected, but if anything happens to you…”

The mayor doesn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to. Ben knows.

It will kill her.

Ben plasters on a smile when Leslie returns and takes her seat beside him.

“So, what did you two talk about while I was gone?”

“Oh, you know, sweetheart,” Mayor Knope says with a wave of his hand. “Views on the war and such. But what I would like to hear more about is what you did back in Pawnee. You keep the books for your father’s store, is that right?”

“More than that, Daddy,” Leslie cuts in. “He is a genius when it comes to numbers. He managed the inventory and accounts, and always had ways to keep the business in the black. It’s almost like he could make money appear out of thin air.”

“It’s not all that impressive, really,” Ben says. “It’s just about knowing when and where to put the right investments in certain suppliers. Predicting trends in the business and knowing where to spend and where to make cuts. There were some lean times, but the business never floundered.”

Leslie rests her hand on Ben’s arms and squeezes. “And thank goodness. Where else would I get my whipping cream from?”

“Ah, so the truth finally comes out. You only love me for my access to the store’s goods. You are driven by your sweet tooth.”

“And I don’t apologize for it. Never have, never will. Just ask my father.”

“She speaks the truth, I’m afraid,” Mayor Knope answers with a smile. Ben notices his eyes flickering back and forth between Leslie and himself, but the smile never wavers. “Now, enough talk about food and let’s actually eat.”

~~~~~

Leslie and Ben walk hand in hand down the darkening streets. 

After a pleasant dinner, Mayor Knope dismissed them to spend the last bit of time before Ben’s curfew together. There isn’t much else to do now that most everything is closed, but they relish being in each other’s company.

Because who knows when they will have this again.

They slow their pace until they eventually stand still, hidden in a side street near Leslie’s inn.

“You have to go back soon, don’t you?” Leslie asks as she tries to hide the emotion from her voice.

It doesn’t work, and it breaks Ben’s heart.

“I do. We only have a little bit before I have to leave to make curfew on time.”

Leslie drops Ben’s hand only to step into his arms. He holds onto her like she is the only thing tethering him to earth.

“I thought nothing could be as terrible as saying goodbye to you before,” Leslie says into his chest. “But I was wrong. This is so much harder.”

He holds her tighter and kisses the top of her head. “I know. It’s unbearable.”

Leslie is openly crying now, her tears soaking into his uniform. It takes every ounce of strength in him to remain stoic. 

“I can’t lose you,” she whimpers. “I wouldn’t be able to bear it.”

“Shhh, you’ll be fine. You have so many people that love you.”

She pulls back and reaches up to cup either side of his face. “But none like you. If anything were to happen to you, there’d be a hole in my heart that will never be filled again.”

Ben scrunches his eyes closed as Leslie’s thumb brushes against his cheek. “Don’t say things like that. Not when it’s already hard enough to leave you.”

“I won’t apologize for how I feel. I love you in a way that I’ve never loved anyone before. And I never will again. I know that.”

Something comes over Ben, a feeling so strong that he’s never felt before. Before he knows what he’s doing, Leslie is pressed against the rough brick of a building. His fingers thread through her hair, not caring that the intricate updo is being destroyed.

Their kiss is fire, scorching his lips. It’s ferocious and deep and feels so foreign, but he never, ever wants to stop. He wants to taste her, all of her, until it’s seared into his memory.

He fears he’s gone too far when she whimpers, but before he can pull back, Leslie’s own hands loop around his neck. Her lips kiss back just as fierce, her hands clutching at him like she can’t pull him close enough.

What he would give to feel the skin beneath all of her layers. Hunt beneath her petticoats and corset until he finds the softness that is only her. 

Perhaps it’s a good thing today is Sunday and City Hall is closed. It’s the only thing stopping him from finding a preacher and running down to City Hall to marry her. 

It wouldn’t be unheard of. With the war, marriages are happening left and right without a long courtship. People like Andy and April that want to have that tiniest bit of happiness before they face down death. 

But Ben can’t do that to her. He knows how important it would be for her to get married in Pawnee, all of her friends and family able to join in their celebration.

And if he doesn’t make it back home, he couldn’t bear leaving her a widow.

Ben pulls away to catch his breath, peppering kisses across the rest of her face.

“Promise me,” she whispers, “promise me again that you’re going to come back to me.”

“Leslie, I don’t know--”

“No,  _ promise  _ me. I need to hear you say it.” Her voice cracks. “Please.” 

Ben presses his forehead against hers, their noses brushing. “Leslie Knope, I promise that I will do everything in my power to come home to you.”

She exhales, and Ben feels it against his lips. “And I will do everything to in my power to make sure you can keep your promise.”

Ben closes his eyes and lets himself imagine this future, this future where they win the war and he gets to come home a man whole and unchanged by what he experienced. 

He imagines Leslie waiting for him at the city limits, her running into his arms when he comes into view. In his mind’s eye, he sees their wedding, the small house a few blocks away from the store he saved up to buy for them. He carries her over the threshold, peels off her wedding dress layer by layer until he is left with what no longer has to be hidden from him.

Oh, how he can’t wait until the day she becomes his in every sense of the word.

And one day, she’ll be ripe with his child, her belly round and full with the baby they made out of love. As clear as day, he sees little girls with Leslie’s blonde hair tugging at their mother's skirt, boys with his eyes and her nose running through the house. 

What he would give to make sure that dream comes true.

The church bells chime another rude awakening. 

“I have to go,” he says softly, his fingers running over her cheeks. 

“I know. I’m just trying to remember everything about this moment. I want to hold onto it forever.”

“As do I, but this isn’t goodbye. I will continue to write you as often as I can, and I  _ will _ see you again. Whether it be in this life or the next, we will be together.”

“I pray that you’re right.” She kisses him again, but not nearly as fiercely. It’s soft and wistful, slow as though she were trying to savor it. Her hands reach up and unravel the scarf that had been hanging around her neck. “I know it’s not much, but I want you to have this as a token. They say it’s good luck to carry something with you onto the battlefield.”

He takes the scarf like it was spun from the most priceless silk, holding it up to his nose. It reminds him of her letters, of the perfume she sprays to help him think of home. 

“Thank you. I will carry this as my greatest treasure.”

“I love you, Benjamin Wyatt. Never forget that.”

“Leslie Knope, I will love you until the day I die.” And Ben means it more than anything he’s ever said before. 

The only question is how soon that day will come. 


	6. Chapter 6

Leslie sits silently beside her father as the horses pull the wagon down the dirt road leading back to Pawnee.

The presentation had gone even better than Leslie expected. She was one of only a handful of women in the room, sitting there as she heard her father read  _ her _ words to some of the most important people in the state. 

The committee said that they would deliberate and send word back within the upcoming weeks of their decision, but a friend of her father’s that was on the council said they most certainly were going to be one of the towns chosen.

Tears pricked at her eyes then as she listened to her words with pride, but now her eyes well for a completely other reason.

What should be one of the greatest moments of her life is tainted.

She turns and watches as Indianapolis grows farther and farther away into the distance, as  _ Ben _ grows farther and farther away. 

Goodness, will this ache in her chest ever go away?

She can still feel the ghost of his lips against her skin, the feel of the brick against her back as Ben kissed her in places no other man had. Her lips still tingle, her flesh burning from where his fingers gripped her hips through her petticoats and corset.

And that fire he stoked within her, that pulsing and pulling in the pit of her stomach that drove her mad with lust. She would think these feelings sinful if they didn’t feel so  _ right _ . 

Anything she had ever felt for anyone paled in comparison to how Ben makes her feel, how fiercely and deeply he loves her. Those too few moments spent in his arms are better than a lifetime spent in anyone else’s.

She sniffs and wipes at her eyes, leaning into her father’s touch when he wraps an arm around her shoulder.

Thankfully, he doesn’t speak, the only acknowledgment of her heartbreak being the soothing rub of his hand along her arm

He knows what Ben means to her. He said as much the night she returned to the inn and she collapsed into his arms a sobbing mess.

“Ben is a good man,” he had said, and he couldn’t think of anyone finer to call a son-in-law should that be what Leslie wants.

His blessing, at least, was a small consolation.

As the city fades off into the distance, Leslie sends up a prayer to keep Ben safe to a God she hopes now more than ever exists.

And she hopes that she will be strong enough to make it through the coming months without him.

~~~~~

Ben doesn’t sleep much the night he gets back from town. 

He walks back, kicking stones off of the road with his hands deep in the pockets of his uniform. Every possible emotion pulses through his nerves, and he wants to scream, cry out, punch something at the injustice of it all.

He wants this damned war over. Wants the slaves freed and his country to be unified again. If only this nonsense would end.

He wants to finally be with Leslie now that he has the chance.

But in the short walk back to camp, the world doesn’t change. There is still a war.

Andy seeks him out when he returns, a wide smile on his face.

“Ben! How are you? Did you see her?”

His brow furrows. “You knew?”

“I sure did,” Andy says proudly, looking happy at himself that he was able to keep the secret. “April wrote to me about it on behalf of Leslie. Said I was to make sure you got into town when you were supposed to in case you didn’t go on your own.

Ben does his best to muster a smile for his friend, but it falls short. “Thanks, Andy.”

“What’s the matter? I thought--oh.” Andy’s face changes and his happy smile turns downward. “I’m sorry, Ben. I know it must have been great to see her, but saying goodbye is always the hardest.”

Guilt coils in Ben’s gut. Andy understands what Ben’s feeling better than almost anyone, and he didn’t just get to spend the day with his love like Ben had.

“Andy, I-- I have no right to be this upset when you haven’t been able to see your wife in so long.”

Andy shrugs. “I understand. You were given an opportunity and you took it. I can’t fault you for that, and I can’t fault you being sad again.”

“Thank you. It was a great day. Over too soon, but Leslie is doing well.” He rubs at the back of his neck. “I don’t mean to be rude but--”

Andy waves him off towards the tents. “You don’t even have to apologize. I think I’d know how I’d feel if I was in your shoes. I’ll try to make sure no one bothers you.” He leans over to whisper in Ben’s ear. “It’s okay, too, if you wanna cry. I know they say we aren’t supposed to, but I cried a bit the first night when I missed April a whole bunch. It helps sometimes.”

But Ben doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to cry. He just lies there on his mat on the ground staring at the canvas walls, Leslie’s scarf next to him on the pillow until the bugle sounds the next morning.

~~~~~

_ My Darling Leslie, _

_ It’s been mere days since you’ve left, and I already feel so empty. It cannot be helped if this letter falls into the wrong hands and sullies my reputation, but there are things I need to tell you. Things I’d rather you read in private and away from prying eyes. _

_ Leslie, being with you for just that one day was more than anything I could have ever imagined. You are my sun, the stars in my night sky that guide my way. You are goodness and light and perfection, an angel walking the earth. _

_ You make me want to be a better man, to be someone worthy of calling himself your husband one day.  _

_ I feel like a man addicted only to have his vice taken from him. I physically ache for you, crave you more than my next breath.  _

_ I can still taste you on my lips, still feel you beneath my fingertips, am driven mad by the scent of your perfume. _

_ Forgive my boldness, but any thoughts I can spare during this war are consumed by you, by my desire for you.  _

_ In my dreams, I allow myself to imagine you as my wife, imagine what your skin feels like beneath your corset and petticoats. My lips touch every inch of you, my hands tug and squeeze at your supple flesh. _

_ We have a home. We are at peace. _

_ That is my dream, my love. To have that life with you, to love you until I take my last breath. _

_ I tell you this not to upset you, but to give us both hope of a future. To let you know how much I adore you. How much my mind, body and soul desire to be joined with you in every possible way. _

_ We received order this morning to march south towards the Kentucky Border. After the recent raids down there, they want us patrolling. They say we might not see combat, though, and our regiment isn’t being shipped East like some of the others are. I don’t know if that’s good or  bad right now. _

_ We march in two weeks, which will hopefully be enough time for this letter to reach you and for you to respond. I don’t know if I can write you while I’m away, but I will send word as soon as I can. _

_ In any absence, never forget that you are always in my heart. You are what keeps me strong, what helps me remember why this is all so important.  _

_ Until I come home to you, I send you all of my love. _

_ Forever Yours, _

_ Ben _

~~~~~

_ My Ben, _

_ I can only hope this letter finds you, and finds you well.  _

_ My hands are still shaking from reading your most recent letter. My face is flushed redder than it’s ever been, and I can feel the blood pulsing through my veins. Oh, the things that you do to me, Benjamin Wyatt. The things you make me feel, the things I want to do to you. _

_ Thankfully, I received and read that letter in the privacy of my own room, otherwise my primal reaction alone would have caught someone’s attention. While a woman like me should be scandalized, all I can feel is that same desire, that want, that need.  _

_ You ignite this feeling in me that I never knew existed, one that I know so many of my peers can’t even begin to imagine. I suppose this is what love feels like. _

_ I must make my own confession, now. My thoughts and dreams have been far from chaste ever since our time together. I see what you see, too. I see us together in every sense of the word. I see a life, a home, an eternity of love and happiness. _

_ What I wouldn’t give to taste your lips again, to feel your fingers digging into my skin or running through my hair. To feel you close to me again, to know that you’re home safe with me.  _

_ I always knew that one day you’d leave the Capital, but now that it is happening, I can’t help but fear for you. I know this is selfish given the times we are in, but I do hope you don’t see battle. I can’t lose you, Ben. The thought of you being hurt is too much to bear.  _

_ On a positive note, we heard back from the committee...and we were one of the towns chosen! _

_ I’m so excited, Ben, I can’t even begin to describe it. We are finally going to be able to do something meaningful to help the Union. I have already started organizing things with the local businesses to try to get donations, and we already have so many volunteers. Plus, the influx of new people into town to help with the camp will be so wonderful for Pawnee.  _

_ This war will end, and we will win. I know it deep in my bones, and this is how we will help you. I will let you know more as plans progress. _

_ Please let me know when you arrive safely at your final destination. I will wait anxiously until I hear from you again. _

_ With all of my love, _

_ Your Leslie _

~~~~~

It’s been weeks since Leslie has heard from Ben, and the strain is almost too much to bear. 

She expected this, of course, but that didn’t make it easier accept. That feeling of not knowing, of waiting for a letter any day now, is crushing. 

In the meantime, she throws herself into her work. Long days are spent with her father at City Hall making the plans and preparations, plotting out where the camp could go and how to best accommodate those coming to run it.

She visits shops in town and the surrounding areas--except for Eagleton. Those rich snobs wouldn’t give them the time of day. They’re probably Confederate sympathizers for all she knows. She wouldn’t be surprised.

It’s rewarding work, makes her feel like she’s  _ useful _ . 

But it can’t fill the void left by Ben’s absence.

She sits in bed, reading Ben’s last letter to her for what must be the thousandth time.She has every word memorized by now, but seeing the words in his now familiar scrawl brings her comfort.

And those words still stir up something inside of her each time she reads them. It’s deep in her belly, an ache between her thighs at just the thought of him doing those  _ things _ to her. 

The door to her room opens, and Leslie scrambles to hide the letter under the sheets as Ann walks in.

She’s not very sneaky.

“What do you have there?” Ann says in a teasing voice, moving to sit down at the end of Leslie’s bed.

“N-nothing. It was nothing. I wasn’t reading or doing anything ever. It was work, that’s all.”

Ann cocks her head to the side. “So which was it? Nothing or work?”

“It’s not important, I just--”

Ann quickly lunges forward, her hand going under the comforter as Leslie shrieks.

“No, Ann! Please, it’s a letter from Ben.”

That stops her, and Ann leans back, letter in hand, but she doesn’t open it. “Oh, is that it? You’ve never been secretive about them before.”

Leslie blushes and lowers her head. “This one’s...different. It’s the last one he sent me before they were set to move out. He asked me not to let anyone else read it. It’s… personal.”

Ann’s eyebrows shoot up, a knowing grin forming on her face as she hands back the letter. “Personal? That sounds very...scandalous. I love it.”

“It was romantic, but if someone else were to read it… it could end poorly. It’s not filthy, just, you know, things he can’t wait for us to do when we’re together again.”

Goodness, her face is flaming. 

Ann squeals and shakes Leslie’s leg. “Leslie, that’s wonderful. I would have never guessed that shy Ben Wyatt would have the courage to write something like  _ that _ . I think I underestimated him.”

Leslie smile shyly and tucks a loose curl behind her ear. “I think a lot of people underestimate him. Ann, he’s just so wonderful. I can’t even begin to describe it. He’s just… everything. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. His last letter gave me a boldness I didn’t know I had to express to him how I feel, too. It’s so freeing and terrifying at the same time.”

Ann sighs dreamily. “That’s what being in love feels like, my dear. It’s a glorious, wonderful feeling.”

“It is. And frustrating, too. My body feels like it’s pulled tighter than a bowstring.”

Ann bites her lip, getting up to make sure that no one is in the hallway before locking the door. 

“Now, I’m going to ask you something very personal and you don’t have to answer it, but I think it might help you.” She leans forward and whispers. “When you feel that way, have you ever, you know,  _ touched _ yourself?”

“Touched myse--oh.  _ Oh. _ ” She immediately tucks her arms in front of her. “Ann, I don’t know if--”

“I know, it’s very personal, and I know that people say it’s wrong, but really, I think it will help you. It will help relax you, make you feel less tense. It helps when you use your imagination, too. And let’s just say that boys, once they find out that you’ve been thinking about them when you  _ do that, _ go absolutely mad for it.”

Leslie looks up. “Really?”

“Definitely. And most boys do it already, anyway. It’s not fair they say girls can’t. Plus, I’m sure Ben’s thought of you a million times like that.”

“You think so?”

Ann nods. “I do. But either way, this is for you. To help you. It’s late so I’ll let you get to sleep, but just… think about it. It might be a very long time before Ben comes back and makes good on his promises, but there’s no reason you should suffer even more in the meantime.” 

The two friends embrace before Leslie settles back against her pillows, lip between her teeth and almost drawing blood.

What Ann said, it was wrong, wasn’t it? That’s always been the unspoken rule. But was it  _ really _ wrong? How can it be? Ben was going to be her husband one day. It can’t be bad to think about him like that. To...do things to herself like she would want him to.

Just thinking about it now brings that feeling back, that tension and throbbing between her legs. She can’t even imagine how good it might feel to make it go away. 

Her decision made, Leslie lies down, her hand slowly lifting up her nightgown up past her hips. 

Fingers slowly explore between her legs as she thinks of Ben. She thinks of his smile, his laugh and hair and lips. She imagines those lips brushing against her skin in the most hidden places. His low voice rumbling against her skin as he tells her how much he loves her.

It feels so different, but so perfect. Nothing has  _ ever _ felt this good. She gasps when she finds that one spot that feels better than the rest, concentrating there for what feels like an eternity until something snaps.

She flies then, a pillow over her mouth to hide the sounds coming out as her body spasms.

Her whole body feels like it’s slowly floating down to earth from the heavens, and she relaxes against the softness of her sheets.

Sleep comes easy after that, and she dreams of Ben’s hand instead of her own.


	7. Chapter 7

The forty pound pack on Ben’s back has never felt so heavy.

They have been marching for days. His feet are sore and blistered, the soles of his shoes growing thinner with each step. Rations are in short supply, and the men around him start dropping like flies in the heat.

But the regiment presses on. 

News of the continuing raids at the border reach them daily with no sign of stopping. The Southern troops are infiltrating whole towns, pilfering goods, destroying property, and making the locals flee in terror. 

There have not been any civilian casualties as of yet, but Ben fears that it is only a matter of time. 

The State Militia has already been notified and are a few day’s march ahead of Ben’s unit. They would be the ones combatting the South. Ben’s commander keeps telling them that they most likely won’t see battle this time around. Reinforcements was the word used. Simple patrols should the Confederates try to push Northward. 

While some of the men grumble that they aren’t going to see combat, Ben feels relief. A part of him hates himself for his cowardice, but the other portion--the rational portion--knows they aren’t ready for that yet. Half of the men can barely handle the march. How are they supposed to fight well trained Confederate soldiers?

“Alright, men,” Trumple yells out. “We camp here for the night.”

Ben sighs in relief and drops his pack to the ground, pulling out the supplies to set up the tent he and Andy will share. The pair work in sync, driving the stakes into the ground to support the thinning piece of fabric that will do little to shield them from the elements.

Most of the men are too exhausted to do anything but sleep once the camp is assembled, and Ben and Andy are no different. They are thankfully spared from being put on the night watch, and after a brief rereading of some of Ben’s favorite letters from Leslie, he falls into a restless sleep. 

~~~~~

The sound of gunfire is what wakes him.

It takes less than a second for Ben to remember that he isn’t in the training camp, that the sound isn’t coming from one of the practice fields.

He sits up quickly, Andy, too, being roused from his sleep and going on high alert.

There’s yelling outside of the tent, the sound of Trumple’s voice being the loudest as he barks out orders. Ben and Andy grab their rifles and start to load them as they run to outside. There’s an odd mixture of order and chaos as the men prepare themselves to fight a still invisible enemy, further proof that most of these men really aren’t soldiers.

“What’s going on?” Andy asks as he holds his loaded rifle up and ready to fire. 

“Southern soldiers,” one of the men answers with wide, panicked eyes. “I reckon they changed their course during the raids and we are right in their path.”

Oh, no. They aren’t prepared for this. They were just supposed to patrol the area in case there were any small offshoots of soldiers or they were needed as reinforcements for the State Militia.

They can’t handle a Southern Troop on their own. 

Ben swallows before lifting up his rifle the way he was trained and waiting for Trumple’s orders.

It’s so dark, and while he can hear the shots of the approaching rebels, he can’t make them out for the life of him. The minutes tick by far too slowly as the commotion continues around him. Some men can’t handle it and they flee into the darkness, running away and leaving the other soldiers behind.

But not Ben. No, this was what he came here for. He isn’t about to abandon his troop when they need him the most. 

It isn’t until a soldier next to him drops that Ben realizes that the rebel soldiers have gotten onto the camp, streaks of gray now running past him on the moonlight. Trumple orders them to shoot on sight, to stand their ground and fight.

Ben’s hands shake when he fires that first shot, then another, and another until he hears the sickening sound of the bullet hitting flesh, and a Confederate soldier falls to the ground.

The rush of adrenaline is too much for it to really sink in--seeing a man dead because of him on the ground.

He can ask for forgiveness about that later--if he lives.

The Confederate line pushes in even closer, and Ben and Andy scramble back to find better coverage. He nearly trips over the dead body of one of the Lerpiss boys, his eyes open and empty under the moonlight. 

Andy does well beside him, shooting the rifle with practiced accuracy. “My papa used to let me pick off some of the rats that were eating the crops,” he had said after one of their first practices. 

Ben doubts that a young Andy would have ever thought he’d be using a rifle to pick off Graybacks one day.

For every one Confederate that falls, it seems like four more come out of the woodwork. There’s just too many of them, Ben thinks to himself. They won’t ever be able to hold them off.

He quickly reaches to feel Leslie’s scarf stuffed inside of his jacket pocket. He tries to draw courage from it, tries to use her memory as the strength he needs to finish this. He tells her he loves her and wishes that they had so much more time together.

“Wyatt, Dwyer!” Trumple’s voice booms out above the gunfire and screams. He stumbles out of the darkness next to them, his uniform caked with blood and dirt. “We won’t be able to hold them off for too long. I want you two to make it out of here and run to warn the next town. Have them contact the State Militia and tell them everything that happened.” He shrugs off his jacket and hands it off to them. “Take this as collateral. Tell them the orders came straight from your colonel.”

Ben barely has time to take the jacket before Trumple is shoving them back away from the line of fire and towards the direction of the next town. Even running as fast as they can, they won’t reach it until morning, but it will at least be in enough time to properly warn and defend them.

Ben throws the jacket on to free his hand, grasping his rifle and taking off into the darkness with Andy. They are just about to leave the edges of the camp when bullets start to fly past them.

“Faster, Andy,” Ben cries out, the his lungs burning as they cry for air. “We have to run faster. We--”

He falls to the ground when a pain rips through his thigh, fiery and more excruciating than anything he’s ever felt.

“Ben!” Andy says as he falls to his knees beside him. “Ben! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “Take the jacket and go.”

“No. I’m not leaving you. I can carry you until we reach the cover of the woods and then--”

Andy stops when a gray-clad soldier steps into view with his rifle raised. His eyes pass over the two of them, but he doesn’t shoot.

Ben can feel the warm stickiness of the blood leaving his body, and he’s losing every last ounce of energy he has.

He waits for the shot that will finish him off, silently begging for Leslie’s forgiveness that he couldn’t keep his promise.

The last thing Ben sees before it all fades to black is the butt of a rifle slamming into Andy’s temple. 

~~~~~

Leslie stands in the middle of what was once an empty field on the outskirts of town but is now slowly transforming into a Union Camp. She watches as the men set up the countless tents, as food and medical supplies are being brought in by the wagon-load. 

Her dream is finally becoming a reality before her very eyes, and it’s even more glorious than she imagined. 

She turns with a wide smile and makes her way back to where her father is standing, surrounded by a small group of men overseeing the work. Before she reaches them, another man with a somber expression taps her father’s shoulder and whispers in his ear. 

Any semblance of happiness that was once on Mayor Knope’s fades at whatever news being told to him, and when he turns to meet Leslie’s eyes, she just  _ knows _ .

She runs the rest of the way until her hands clasp her father’s shoulders.

“Sweetheart--”

“No,” she rasps. “No, please don’t say it.”

“I’m so sorry, darling. There was a raid, and they caught the regiment off guard in the middle of the night. There were too many of them.”

She says no over and over again until her quiet whispers turned into a wail that she’s never heard come out of her before. 

Her father’s strong arms catch her before she can fall in a heap on the ground, instead pulling her against his chest as she weeps. 

“Please, Daddy, please tell me it isn’t true.”

He doesn’t say a word.

~~~~~

Leslie doesn't leave her room for three days.

She cries until she doesn’t think she has anymore tears, and then she cries some more. Her mother and father stop in to check on her, but she doesn’t speak to them. 

The only person allowed to provide her any kind of comfort and companionship is Ann. Ann brings her the meals that she doesn’t touch and strokes her hair while Leslie stares blankly at the ceiling between sessions of rereading Ben’s letters. 

At the end of the second day, she begs for a newspaper, and while Ann protests, she can’t deny Leslie her desire to read the truth about what happened to Ben. 

“He’s not dead,” Leslie says when Ann comes into her room on the third day. Her voice is rough from crying and disuse, but there is still a fierce determination behind it.

“What are you saying, Leslie?” Ann says as sits beside her. “You read the story. You know what happened. He--”

“ _ No.”  _ She pulls out the newspaper and slaps it on the bed. “They list the names of everyone that lived or died during the raid. Ben and Andy’s bodies and those of a few others were never found. They aren’t dead. They’re probably missing and need help.”

Ann wraps an arm around Leslie’s shoulder. “Leslie, I know how much you must want to believe that, but them not being found isn’t exactly good news. The chances are high--”

“I don’t care about what people think their chances are. They are alive until someone can prove to me otherwise, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure they are being looked for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find April.”

Leslie stands quickly, leaving her newspaper and breakfast behind, and walks out of her room with a renewed sense of purpose.


End file.
